More Like Boooor-antine.

We're flying to Beijing on Wednesday, but I'm not sure we're going to get to see much of it. Here's why: I'm fairly (47 percent) certain that we'll be quarantined.

My concern started sometime last week, when swine flu flared up in some of the beach towns in Southern Thailand. I figured that one would soon mean two would soon mean a couple hundred would soon mean (probably) alarmist headlines like this one:

"10,000 Could Catch Swine Flu."

Flying in at the height of Thai flu panic, we'd be obvious targets. So I started looking for stats or stories about how many people were getting whisked away in Beijing. Turns out everyone capable of getting sick is an obvious target these days (although we still have a higher risk of being on the same flight as someone infected)... and turns out a bunch of people have written about it.

Here's a blog from a guy:

It goes something like this: the flight lands, taxis, and stops at the gate. Along the way, passengers are told to remain in their seats and not . A moment or two later, in a scene reminiscent of the opening moments of Star Wars (when stormtroopers burst into the rebel craft, firing lasers, followed by Darth Vader), teams in biohazard suits emerge at the front of the plane, and work the aisles, firing laser thermometers at the foreheads of seated passengers...

Last night, I was seated in 13G. Next to me, in 13F, was a thirty-ish Chinese man. A woman in a biohazard suit fired her laser at my forehead (normal), and then his. “Thirty-seven-point-three,” she announced to the person in the biohazard suit behind her (that’s 99.14° F). ... At this, the two biohazard suits waved at a taller biohazrd suit in the other aisle, and the three parties retreated to the front of the plane....

Meanwhile, I couldn’t help but notice the disdainful and frustrated looks of nearby passengers who couldn’t see 13F, but who could surely see me – Mr. 13G in the aisle seat. All in all, not an entirely pleasant sensation, being mistaken for a Plague Carrier. As for 13F – he wasn’t commenting. I tried.

Mr. 13F apparently didn't have swine flu, because Mr. 13G wrote this atop the Great Wall (or somewhere equally as non-quarantine-y).

But this next guy wasn't so lucky. Someone three rows from him on his flight had it, and after a day or two at a swank Beijing Westin hotel, the state came looking for him. Now, even though he hasn't shown a single flu symptom, he's stuck in quarantine for a week. Luckily, he's stuck with internet access. From his blog (here also is his twitter feed):

"Much like prison, the standard greeting is “how long you been here?” (we’ve dispensed of “what are you in here for”). Another great conversation starter is “so, how’d they find you?”. Otherwise, there’s really not that much else particular to the culture here. Handshakes are not allowed. In fact, greetings, in order of preference, are:

Handshake < high five < fist bump < nod"

Still.. quarantine for him means means a converted 3-star hotel with internet, decent enough food (can even order out to Pizza Hut), and Tai Chi classes—facts I'm glad to learn, because if quarantine means getting strapped down in a hospital bed in some faceless, Soviet-era (uh.. all communism is the same, right?) hospital, then I don't think I could convince Con to take the risk.


But at least he seems to be taking it with a sense of humor about (also read his wickedly funny "7 People You Meet in Quarantine"). Here's a different take from one more—a quarantined (alongside New Orleans/Chocolate City mayor Ray Nagin—Ha!) Chinese-American who considered herself a believer in the great Chinese experiment. Now she ties quarantine back to the dangers, arrogance and slippery slope of an authoritarian state:

Out of frustration, I complained that I was being treated unfairly. I spoke my mind and said that I felt as if my rights were being violated by the Communist government. When I said this, I sent my jailers into a frenzy, "Don't criticize China! Do not criticize China!" Those of you who know me know that in the past, I've always tended to defend the Chinese government. Yes some of their measures were draconian but they were also efficient and effective, I said. And at the time, I truly believed that it was a fair tradeoff. Fewer rights for faster outcomes.

I take all of that back. I rarely get angry but I am so angry now. I've never felt so keenly the disadvantages of living under a government that does not recognize the concept of personal rights. Some of that anger is personal, no one wants to spend most of their vacation alone and enclosed. But the deeper anger is directed at my sense of helplessness. I cannot do anything to extract myself from a nightmare that is out of my control and blown way out of proportion. I have no way of defending myself and have not come up with any logical justifications to soothe my anger. I am being treated courteously by the staff here but it still feels like being in prison.

Since I have infinite time on my hands, I've been watching a lot of Chinese television. The official state media is filled with reports of the dangers of H1N1. Yesterday, an entire talk show was devoted to interviewing a healthy Chinese woman studying abroad who is refusing to visit her family in China this summer because she did not want to risk infecting them with the disease. Reporters and officials in her hometown praised her sense of "civic responsibility" and "patriotism". The piece concluded with words to the effect of, China welcomes and embraces all of her children from around the world.

While this type of blatant propaganda would have amused me even a week back, watching it yesterday made me sick. I've been asked multiple times to provide the names of anyone I came in contact with during my 24 hours of freedom (friends, taxi drivers, cashiers, and waitresses...). I've refused so good luck finding them and the thousands of other people "exposed" to my presence in the city. Call me a horrible person but I refuse to help the "glorious cause".

Although the context is different, the political puppet show that is the H1N1 witch hunt has given me glimpses of the emotions and irrationalities which allowed the CR to happen only 40 years ago. If I had any illusions about what the government of this country will or will not do, I've been disabused of those notions. I feel sorry for the Chinese people who from watching the Chinese news, live in fear of being swamped by a deadly outbreak of H1N1 or other new forms of flu sure to arise in the future. I can no longer defend the actions of this government or look forward to living in a country where the precautionary response to H1N1 is the benign tip of the iceberg.

Anyway.. we'll see. Either way, I'm expecting this trip to be thoroughly enriching. Everyone should wrestle with the bureaucratic tentacles of a communist superstate once in their life, right? (Con loves it when I think like this...).